We are in week two of a five week series on the family titled “Five Word for a Godly Home. Last week, Our word was LOVE and the sermon was “Husbands, Love Your Wives.” TODAY our key word is RESPECT. Today’s sermon is titled, “Wives, Respect Your Husbands.” Let’s study together.

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.” (Ephesians 5:25–27, ESV)

The central command for husbands is LOVE
The central command for wives is RESPECT
Today we will see how these two commands COMPLIMENT each other

Men and women are DIFFERENT

These Differences are by God’s Design

THIS TEACHING is counter-cultural
Christians in EVERY GENERATION have had to respond to different challenges:
In the APOSTOLIC ERA, the challenge was “Do the Gentiles have to follow the Jewish Law?”
The EARLY CHURCH was challenged by intense persecution.
During the REFORMATION, the challenge was a central theological issue:
Are we saved through CHRIST or through the CHURCH?”

In more recent history, the 1960’s-80’s saw the church struggling with issues of legalism and racism.

TODAY I believe the central challenge for our time centers on the authority of God’s Word. “Will we obey God’s Word over culture?”

I mention this because the biblical teaching on the roles of husband and wife is counter-cultural.
Much is the same with the biblical teaching on HOMOSEXUALITY and SEXUALITY.

Many pastors have reinterpreted the Bible to agree with modern day feminism.
Others simply don’t teach about the Biblical roles of Leadership and Submission.

Here is my CHALLENGE for you as you consider this topic. Quite frankly, some Christians have a difficult time accepting the idea of biblical submission. Our culture has equated this with something that it is not, accusing Christians of being against women. But before you tune out this sermon, consider the following:

What influences you regarding the family and roles of husband and wife?
Ask yourself, “What does God say about how the home should function?” If you are willing to examine the Scriptures with an open heart, I believe that you will discover that there is a beautiful explanation of God’s design for the home.

First, Let’s dispose of some Straw Men (or women) that have been propped up to falsely accuse Christians of being against women.
EVERYONE is against….
a. Suppressing
b. Chauvinism
c. Domestic violence.
d. Wage discrimination
e. That women cannot be in positions of authority.
f. The old “barefoot and pregnant”

On the contrary, a biblical understanding of the role of men and women provides honor and dignity to both men and women. Families and churches that follow God’s design function correctly and honor all people.

THREE VIEWS (among Christians)
1. Three Views
a. Egalitarian.
i. From the French word Egalet’ meaning “Equality”
ii. “there is no authority structure between men and women.”
iii. Scriptural Support: Galatians 3:28 “There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”
iv. Egalitarians teach that the NT commands regarding male leadership were culture bound and no longer apply.
v. The Source of Egalitarian is SECULAR FEMINISM.

vi. Trying to fit the Bible into culture.
vii. They suggest that the church really had this wrong for 1900 years.

b. Authoritarian.
i. Domination of men over women
ii. A wrong understanding of submission and love.
iii. Confuses leadership with superiority.
iv. This view repulses others away from a biblical position.
v. God’s design for the home does not subjugate women below men. It elevates women to a position of dignity and honor.
vi. Christian’s aren’t the only ones to go wrong here. Male chauvinism does the same thing by objectification of women as sexual objects.
vii. Islam is built around the subjugation of women and is the worst offender.

c. Complimentary. This is the biblical view.
i. The husband wife relationship functions when both SUBMISSION and LOVE exist in the relationship.
ii. Marriage completes what is lacking.
(1) Eph 5:22,25 and
(2) Gen 2:20-25
iii. Contained in both Old and New Testaments.
iv. Men and women are equal in worth.
v. Their rights as humans are equal and they both share equally in the glory of God.
vi. Their differences compliment one another so that God’s glory can be most exemplified in their lives and in the home.
vii. God’s design for male leadership in the home and church is NOT because of any superiority of men above women. Everyone is blessed when these roles are practiced biblically.

How do Husbands and Wives Compliment One Another?
HUSBANDS – “husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church..” Eph 5:25
Husbands are commanded to LOVE. Men, your leadership FLOWS OUT OF LOVE!
For many men, the desire to LEAD comes naturally, but the desire to LOVE must be developed.
Men who don’t LOVE make it harder for their wives to RESPECT

WIVES you are called to respect. “However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” (Ephesians 5:33, ESV)
Submission FLOWS OUT OF Respect. For many women, the desire to RESPECT comes naturally, but the desire to SUBMIT must be developed.
Women who don’t RESPECT make it harder for their husbands to LOVE

LOVE and RESPECT Compliment each another
Women need and desire love and security. This is met by the man’s committed love.
Men need and desire respect. This is met by the woman’s respect.
EACH ONE supplies what the other one most needs!!

Each one must develop a characteristic STRICTLY FOR the OTHER PERSON

What is Biblical Submission? (Wayne Grudem in “Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood” See Pastor Paul’s Sermon 10/12/2014.)
Putting a husband in the place of Christ.
Giving up independent thought.
A wife surrendering efforts to influence and guide her husband.
Giving in to every demand of her husband. Our ultimate allegiance is to the Lord. When a husband acts or leads in a way contrary to the Scriptures we must follow Christ.

Submission IS:
Partnership. As vessels of God, husbands and wives serve as PARTNERS. In 1 Peter 3:7 Peter calls both husband and wives “vessels.” BOTH belong to God, irrespective of their intelligence or giftedness.

Freedom. Submission does not mean being fearful or timid. In verse 6, Peter encourages wives to look to the example of Sarah and not to fear. Sarah faced great uncertainty in her life. Ultimately, her submission to Abraham was a confidence that God was leading them. She was able to trust not because of her confidence in Abraham, but because of her confidence in God!

Equality. Submission fully agrees with equality in Christ. 1 Peter 3:7, both husbands and wives are both “heirs of the grace of life.” Both men and women stand as equals in the Christian faith.

What does a complimentary relationship produce?
Harmon in the home
A picture of Christ’s love for the Church

God’s design from CREATION
1 Tim 2:13 “For Adam was formed first, then Eve”.
1 Cor 11:8 “For man did not come from woman, but woman from man.”
NT teaches the authority in the home is given to the male.
Equality relates to our worth and status before God.
Authority relates to our responsibilities and relationship with one another.
Authority when properly administered, results in benefit both to the subordinate position and the authority position.